Amorphous

She was almost free,
Her form turning hazy.
A permanent memory,
Slowly fed to normalcy.

She was almost there,
Residing in his head.
Yet now her secret lair,
Began to wither instead.

She was never confined,
With unpredictable ways.
And little did he realise,
That she had gone away.

-Nameera.


Sometimes we deliberately cling on to people who left us long ago through memories & reminiscents. The problem arises when they hamper our growth toward other spheres in life. Memories slowly fade but their impact lives long enough to strangle us while we live.

Impulse

I often wonder if crazy,
Happens only to few.
A reality so damn hazy,
And the aftermath; anew.

As long as the strings,
Of sanity are attached.
The thoughts that bring,
Darkness wouldn’t hatch.

Yet I constantly imagine,
Letting sanity slip away.
And giving in to a legion,
Of underlying craze; if I may.

I could create a door,
And set insanity free.
Satiate it forevermore,
What a beautiful, distorted reality it would be.

-Nameera.

An Addition to my Art Supplies

Here it’s, finally completed!
This artwork, as is evident, is inspired by Rajasthan. The photograph also features my really old Rajasthani jewellery I used to wear as a child in fancy dress competitions & stage plays.

So, this is a post specifically about my true love, painting! I recently bought ‘Winsor & Newton’ water color set & to tell you the truth, it’s a blessing in disguise. The colors are just so vibrant & beautiful. Looking at them I could only think about Rajasthani culture which has vibrant colors imbibed deep within its roots.

When I was 8 I bought a water color set of a local brand to teach myself painting.

As you can see, it was time for my old pal to retire! 😀

Here’s what my latest addition to art supplies looks like :

Thanks for reading!

My Secret Superpower

It was another normal day at school for a 4 year old. Suddenly she felt the urge to get out of the classroom for an ordinary stroll in the hallway. The little girl often found solace in being alone. So, she took the teachers permission to go to the bathroom.

A minute later she was peacefully traversing the path to her destination. The classroom, the bathroom & the hallway of the school looked something like this.

So, as you can make out from this terrible looking illustration, the two places were really close. But she decided to take the long path as depicted through red arrows.

Walking alone in the hallway was too normal. Her gut feeling told her to do something unconventional. Hence, she started running feeling the soft breeze on her face feeling somewhat like a flying super hero.

All would be fine if this other girl hadn’t been running in her direction. She was probably carrying some important news for a teacher which explained the hurry. But our protagonist had no idea about a human child she was about to encounter at the corner(?¿) of a round hallway.

As fate, luck, destiny, Satan & God would have it, they did have an encounter. It was more like a discovery for the girl who was heading to the bathroom.

The scenario was something like this, I couldn’t include details because as you must have figured out by now, I suck at making stick figures.

Yes, they literally collapsed into one another! But the strange part was that only one of them was hurt. Not only was she hurt, but she went back flying inches away. The other saw her fly in the air with her own eyes while she felt not an ounce of pain.

Pretending to be surprised she smiled on the inside thinking of her invisible red cloak. She noticed the other human lying on the floor.

Her forehead turned red. But she somehow carried herself & walked away. The other girl, still amazed at her recently discovered super powers went to the bathroom & then to her class. The incident was on her mind the whole day long.

That girl was none other than me. For a day I got to be a super hero. I even told my mother about it, unable to let out a word properly due to excitement.


Moral of the story : I need to buy a graphic design pad because my LG Stylus 3 can never be a substitute for it. In fact, no phone could be a substitute for a graphic pad. 😁

The Golden Swing

She was very young when her mother left her. Her father was a very busy man, after all the job of being a Nawaab essentially involved many things from taking care of myriad of wives that come with their own set of children. Administration work kept him away as well.

So, as the tradition goes she was put in the care of trustworthy nannies who did each & everything for her. She grew up playing with the children of her caretakers, her only friends. The outside world was never her concern hence wisdom dawned upon her after a long, long time.

Every time the Nawaab visited his beloved daughter, he’d bring her gold coins. As years went by her collection grew. One day her friends gave her a ground-breaking idea, “Nanni, why don’t we plant a gold tree in the garden?” the idea appealed to the young girl. Now, every time her father brought her gold coins she & her friends would bury it in the ground hoping for a golden plant to sprout from within the soil.

Years went by but the plant never grew. Yet the coins went missing.

Her sky blue eyes gleam as she talks about her special swing, the seat of which was made of pure gold. Our eyes open wide with wonder as we picture the golden swing in our heads. Though somewhere in the back of my mind I had a doubt regarding her honesty but those eyes told me otherwise & I felt obliged to believe in my grandmother.

She literally had a golden childhood.

It Came

It came like a soft breeze through the window, pushing past the purple curtain. Caressing my back it traced my flesh in a way that drowned me in melancholy.

It came as a melody so deep. Imbibing in me an incongruous longing for the past.

It came like palpitations as blood dripped from my wrists filling the air around me with dreadful silence.

It came every night,
And crept in my head.
When I tried to fight,
It stuck to my flesh.

The cold breeze,
Felt like your fingers.
When I was at ease,
And life was simpler.

It was a song,
Stuck in my mind.
Each lyric made me long,
For a life past time.

It came through words,
It came in poems.
Between pages of books,
I devoured to escape.

It found me thinking,
About only you.
Nostalgia came,
Through words
Lines
Quotes
Songs
Lyrics
And the cold
Breeze.

It came,
Unabashed
Breaking my
Walls.

-Nameera.

Ruins

He had entered lost territory, a place where no man has dared to venture. The place was in shambles with walls smouldering into blackness where memories bled at night as she closed her eyes. The grey atmosphere filled his lungs with despair and a longing for the warmth of sunshine. Instead of a garden of roses he found himself in a forest of thorns slowly consuming his conscience. Bit by bit he let her overpower him until his breath got icy and the cold in her soul latched itself to his heart.

The ground under his feet crumbled as she devoured him head to toe. As their souls became one, the castle fell into ruins.

The history was lost between pages of a book never written. Their bodies lay beneath ancient bricks with poetry carved deep within their souls, leaving flesh meaningless.

-Nameera.

The bliss behind loneliness

For the most part, the walls didn’t close in on me. But the dancing shadows on the ceiling did become my only pals. At times my breath wasn’t enough to keep me alive. My mind almost gave up yet this blood pumping device inside my body helped me through. A soft tap, tap, tap like knock on my chest always questioned my failures. Though it would falter in ways like skipping a beat or being so faint I could barely feel it, my heart kept me alive. It fed my loneliness with soft knocks at the doorstep of my conscience. The only bliss behind loneliness was finding my heart and with it my dreams & thoughts.