A Sigh of Relief ~ Personified
The moon is a beautiful shade tonight, do you see it fall over that distant darkness?
It’s like she’s offering her shoulders in prayer-
A prayer that becomes our long lost wish
An admixture of paperweight dreams,
My mind and my thoughts keep me running
I’m always on my feet, looking for answers that paint my questions in different hues
I see myself becoming more thoughtful
I see my shadow morph into the sunlight
I feel my senses drowning in yours
I feel, like I never have before.
-Nameera.
A perennial shower of peace spreads across my chest
Joy crawls over my body like sticky ants
Their sweet blood infuses with mine
I hear a song these curtains muse~
They’ve been watching me curl up and inside,
They’ve been learning my silent wish;
A lily settles upon my lashes
My fingers extract the elixir that completes me
I tear apart the walls and the couch and the stains
The stains of the waves getting out of control, spinning all over the place
Blue runs deep and high above
The curtains sing your name,
Draw them.
-Nameera.
Image Credit : Unsplash
Hell.
All this time, he spoke to me in varied hues of oranges and reds. He whispered in flames that burned my head, he moved about in a curfew that swept my need for fresh air. I am a tree, with a broken heart carved on my stomach. The knots of insomnia tighten around my thighs until I bleed Eve’s sin. Unholy birds perch upon my nape, they think my darkness is a home they’ll never find again.
Heaven.
The flowers here grow even more cheery while I paint them. They look like promises of something I haven’t seen yet. They whisper poetries that make no sense. The sun shines brighter than before and I can look at it, gaze into its soul. The moonlight becomes a passage to ballroom where love dances with fate. I watch it, I admire it from afar. I’m good here but so far away. Where is it that my bones ache to be?
Earth.
Home. Love. Life. Trauma. Death. So many colors that come without our choosing. If we chose black, white unfurls at the edge of our existence. If we chose red, green finds a way to our heart. We bind prayers upon our foreheads and paint heaven and hell. Our deeds paint us in either of the two. I sleep under a blanket of warmth, I’m in love. My bones don’t ache anymore. My bones say I’m home ~ on earth.
-Nameera.
It’s been so long since I’ve felt this warm. I mean, it’s quite a surprise because winters always infuse my bones with mental sickness and isolation. This time, it was different and different is not always good however this year has to be one of those exceptional ones where nothing great happens but you still feel like you’ve lived a long, peaceful life.
Greatness often becomes a measure for our happiness. Greater the milestone achieved, greater is the joy that comes attached with it.
I find it a shallow means of ‘measuring’ happiness. It can never be scaled. The purity of a moment is derived by the sheer memory of it and how it detaches you from the reality while you smile like an absolute idiot.
2019 has been one such moment for me. I worked on myself and on building a stronger bond with people I love. I tried filling in the empty spaces and I’ve come to terms with things that went askew.
And For the things I couldn’t learn, I hope 2020 will make up for it.
My hands are freezing as I type this, but there’s an uncanny warmth spreading over my chest. I haven’t felt so much peace in ages.
I remember the
Colorful question
Mark in my old
Sketchbook from
When I was 13
A clueless rhythm
Shook me to the
Core while the
Sea failed to kiss
The shore
I stood still
My feet crushing
The sand underneath
Waiting for answers
Then in the distance
I watched the sun set
Birds flying toward it
The sky was a remant
Of its presence and
Maybe I am too
A remnant of a
Purpose hiding in
Plain sight,
Dressed in white
Like a pilgrim awaiting
God’s call
My colourful question
Mark is a rainbow turning
Prisms into miracles.
-Nameera.
In its internment,
My heart was on
Its knees, ever-
Ready to serve
The master’s
Command.
Be it burying myself under
A mountain of responsibility
Or diving in an ocean that
Was never enough to
Satiate your thirst for
Perfection,
I had my mind set
On fulfilling your
Wishes before
They had to
Travel up your
Throat & find a
Way to the tip
Of your acidic
Tongue.
Alas, I was no angel,
I had served my
Term long
Enough.
It was time now,
For me to kill your heart.
Labeled a thief, a murderer
For my crime,
They never saw the knives
Groped in my scars that
I exposed to you with
The only faith I had
In store.
You stole my faith,
I smashed your heart;
That makes us even
But they only see
Pieces of your heart,
What of the mistrust
That will forever
Reside in my mind,
Extracting my soul
Of the last thing
That keeps me
Alive – hope.
-Nameera.
A broken heart is almost always subject to metaphors & wordplay. As beautiful as it is to read words written for broken hearts, I’d like to draw your attention to emotions that also matter. Trust & hope go hand in hand, they’ve interchangeable consequences. We’re mere human beings, we break hearts & get ours broken by others. The least we can do is cherish trust. Hope isn’t everlasting, I don’t say so because I’m pessimistic but because it’s reality.
Trust is a treasure trove, every time you add little trinkets of hope, it grows.
Hey y’all!
About 2 months ago I mentioned in one of my posts that I was going to talk about my apprehensions on moving to India. So, here it goes.
1. Nostalgia.
I don’t think there’s a way to avoid this. Every minute I breathe, eat, or talk there’s going to be an inevitable wave of nostalgia making me homesick. Though I’m sure I’ll get over it with time.
2. Time.
Okay, I swear to God time flies in India! Days seem longer than nights which is really upsetting to my routine since Saudi Arabia is all about night life. It’s always a major problem during Ramadan when I’ve to fast, time never passes quickly.
3. Papa Johns.
PAPA JOHNS HAS BEEN A FAILURE IN INDIA. Enough said. (Read Here)
4. Traffic.
Drivers rarely honk here unless of course we’re stuck in traffic. I go deaf when I’m travelling by road in the city in India.
5. Al-Baik.
This is a fast food chain found only in Madinah, Makkah & Jeddah (if I’m not mistaken) that most of us have been eating since childhood. No fast food outlet can replace Al-Baik. Ever.
6. Cotton Candy.
Okay so this is prolly just a figment of my imagination. Cotton candy is my favorite ice cream flavor at Baskin Robbins. The last time I tried it in India it wasn’t as sweet as it is here. I really hope it was my taste buds lol.
7. Competition.
So, growing up away from the country & studying in an Indian school we’ve been told by our teachers that students in India are way more competitive than us. We’re literally made to feel like losers.
8. Ice-rink.
Does anyone of you know of an ice-rink in India? Particularly in the North. Do let me know. Because I really haven’t seen/heard about one there.
Well, half of the points I mentioned above are irrelevant. All I can say is I’m looking forward to this drastic change even if it means that I’ll have to adapt to a new lifestyle.
And I didn’t feel the need to mention my love for the two Holy places that I’m going to regret leaving forever.
Thanks for reading!
Your heart will give your life wings.
~Unknown
The above quote has always been my favorite simply because every time I felt like giving up I only had to take out this old artwork & relive the strength I felt while making it ages ago. In a moment all my problems would seem too small to fret over.
Wherever you go, go with all your heart.
~Confucius
A talent that not all possess is doing things with all their heart. Sometimes we’re unable to achieve few goals in life due to unknown reasons. But are we really working towards that goal? Or are we simply focused on the aftermath rather than putting our minds into the process?
Do your work with your whole heart, and you will succeed – there’s so little competition.
~Elbert Hubbard
Now do you see the answer to your ‘unknown’ reasons for not being able to meet your goals?
This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.
~Dalai Lama
Dalai Lama has rightly put into words the true recipe for success. Cleanse your heart towards others & lead a happy life.
There’s so little time & so much to be done. Instead of breaking hearts & fooling around take time to make others, and most importantly yourself happy!
It comes
In parts,
Drowing
Me wholly
Within its
Absence.
-Nameera.
It was one fine morning until signs of downpour marked the vast expanse called sky. Mr. X decided to take his umbrella along with him. To tell you the truth it doesn’t really matter if it’s raining or not, Mr. X always carries his umbrella whenever he goes out into the world. Firstly, it keeps him from getting sun burnt & secondly, it obviously protects him from rain drops. That’s just the way he likes his life; protected & safe. Every time he sees someone passing by without an umbrella over his head, he rushes over to the person & starts telling him the benefits & uses of walking under an umbrella, particularly the one he carries; a red one. Now to the strangers dismay, he doesn’t bother to find out whether he asked for his opinion or not. What if the stranger just wants to enjoy a little drizzle?
One day Mr. X, the man with the red umbrella stumbles upon Mr. Y, the guy with the green one. Both of them start arguing furiously about how their choice of what prevents raindrops from making them sick is righteous compared to the other. Amidst their ferocious attempts to bring down one another, the sky darkens & black rain drops fall on the face of earth. Each drop caters to a black ocean that consists of tides arising every now and then as umbrellas of various colors strengthen it. But this black ocean shouldn’t surprise you, right?
The colorful umbrellas I’m talking about are various religions we are born into. Some people like Mr. X & Mr. Y make the process of co-existing a tiresome one. Advices are offered to those who don’t share their beliefs or follow different paths. The black ocean of hate is the result of not letting our differences subside.
My inspiration for this post comes from a blogger who decided to share some of his personal experiences in one of the posts. Make sure you check it out & the blog, of course.
Even most people from my religion are biased towards others. I wonder why we can never put that aside and coexist. Interested people will join themselves, what’s the need to convert?
If there’s a message to be spread, it’ll spread by itself as people are observant.
We’re all human.
Let’s start believing in ourselves first.
Peace.
