Death Note

(Made this shitty drawing when I was 13)

I wasn’t really into Anime but the one that I watched, well, I fell in love with the concept! Death Note was the most thought-provoking series I’ve watched. I loved every bit of drama, suspense, thrill & horror in it.

I can’t help but wonder what would happen if such a thing as death note really existed. It would definitely take a toll on our morals. Everything would fall out of balance. The Godly powers that it bestows upon one can really destroy a human being, like it did to Light Yagami.

It could prove to be a help in getting rid of corrupt politicians & others but then again doesn’t killing them make us corrupt too?

We judge people for judging people because judging people is wrong.

It raised many mindful questions that haunted me for quite some time.

If we look at it metaphorically, Light & L could be seen as two sides of the same coin; two types of personalities we all possess. Let’s also not forget our demons or Shinigami. Sometimes, when we let the dark side get the better of us, it can prove to be detrimental making it impossible to get a hold of ourselves.

Broken

The dead leaves he never steps on,

Are remnants of his damaged heart.

That so many have trampled upon,
Leaving him in broken parts.

As a result he has never felt whole,
He is just a heap of bones & tears.
Broken promises have taken a toll,
Giving birth to brand new fears.

With the first ray of sunshine,
He wipes his tears with a smile.
But as the last ray disappears,
All his lies vanish with the light.

-Nameera.

Music Helps

I remained adamant to not acknowledge the fact that I was depressed, none of my so called ‘friends’ could catch a hint either. They ignored me & so did I.

Alright so coming down to the purpose behind this post, I want to share music that became my only friend at a time when I was just beginning to understand the dark side of emotions.

Black Veil Brides : Fallen Angels.
You can say that I was obsessed with BVB because I found solace in heavy metal rather than the morbid silence inside me. This song is very, very special to me.

Marina & the Diamonds : I am not a Robot.
Though I wasn’t a fan of pop music but this one song stuck with me for a long time simply because of the lyrics.

The Beatles : Black Bird.
Beautiful lyrics, simple yet powerful, this song was without a doubt my absolute favorite!

Miley Cyrus : When I look at you.
As magical as it sounds, the lyrics moved me in ways no other song could.

Pierce The Veil : Hell Above Me.
I was obsessed with this song for a really long time. I still listen to it at times.

Black Veil Brides : In The End.
Another one by BVB that dealt with the topic of death. I could listen to it on repeat for hours on end.

Imagine Dragons : Demons.
This song really moved me in ways I couldn’t comprehend back then. When I listen to it now, it simply makes me nostalgic but I’d never want to go back to that time. Ever.

There were countless other songs but these were on top of my list.

Thanks for reading!

Shapely Shadows

I fiddled with them for quite some time. But something was wrong with the key hole. The keys just don’t seem to get along with it tonight.

I dragged my feet to the bathroom, exhausted after the days work. The leftover pizza from last night was my only dinner. Leftover, the word stayed with me for more than a minute.

I grabbed the remote & flipped through channels on the tv. Gulping down coke devoid of gas made my taste buds loathe the liquid I forced myself to consume. Isn’t that what we do to ourselves as years go by? We are deliberately stuck in a life we never chose.

A movie airing on tv brought back memories. “Watch it” she said, “If you want to”, with glistening eyes that were telling me to watch her favorite movie, not asking.

With nostalgia written all over my face I was reminded of the halcyon days.

The phone buzzed on the table while I stared at it listlessly. I saw her name appear as it buzzed endlessly. Every little thing weighed me down tonight, drops of water in the kitchen sink clashing against the cold hard metallic basin, lights on the mute tv screen but most of all it was the buzzing phone.

She must have stopped calling after myriad of calls like she always did, I told myself as I woke up at half past 12. I switched off the tv & checked my phone. There was only one missed call at 9, when I might have fallen asleep. I felt stupid for believing that she cares.

No one does. I stared at the shapely shadows dancing on the ceiling as I lay on the couch. My whole life flashed in front of me, all chapters at once. Then my mind jumped to the future. I see myself excelling at the job I love. The picture of a perfect family with two kids living in the suburbs warms my heart. But perfect is just a word. What if the future is happening right now?
We collect pieces of souls & give some as we break apart. Our time, soul & heart is never truly ours. All we have is this life.
This life, I said aloud as the ceiling turned red. The shadows seemed to welcome me in their realm. You belong with us, their voices echoed in my head. They hovered around like a black veil where no light can shine through.

You belong with us, my fingers caressed the cold, hard metal I could free myself with. My salvation.

I can hear it buzz now, do it. It’s too late, do it


“Hey, call me when you get this. Look, I know we’ve our differences but let’s talk it out”, she left a message after the beep.

Sunshine poured in through the window lighting up the room like never before. The morning had devoured all shadows with the dawn of a new day. But the shapely shadows will rise again every night, as hope fades into the darkness. As long as there’s light, you’re safe. But it doesn’t last forever.

The mint green couch was painted with a dark red hue. It looked extravagant in the sun light. He lay with a hole in his head which was very small compared to the black hole he had been harbouring inside his soul all this time.

The drops of water in the kitchen had seized, the tv didn’t light up anymore, and she finally left a message for him. Nothing weighed him down anymore.

The castle

Its anonymity hovers upon me in the dark night. Something inside me compells me to take a step further. As I lift my foot with only one thought on my mind, fallen bricks arrest my attention. They’ve a story to tell. No one has ever dared to set foot in their domain fearing their hideous appearance, withered at the edges as they turn to dust. My only wish upon the asteroid descending unto earth’s surface is to comprehend their tale that has survived through time.

The castle stands tall, its grey walls barely visible in the dark night. My heart speeds up as its enormity slowly dawns upon me. Turn back now, I hear silence speak to me in an ancient tongue.

The door rests upon hinges that have seen many souls come there way. Whether it’s curiosity or lost roads that brought them here, I’ll never know.

As my mind delves deeper into the pool of curiosity a soft rustling of dead leaves warn me voicelessly. My heart is racing faster than a galloping horse on a race track.

As I touch the door it feels cold ‘gainst my hands lined with trickling drops of sweat. I push the door with all my might. My eyes can barely wait to seek treasures of the past waiting to be discovered within these melancholic chambers. Yet the unending darkness inside tells me otherwise.

I had made up my mind to explore what lies beyond the human realm. But now I wasn’t so sure if I could go on. There wasn’t even a faint flicker of light to help me find a path.

The ancient walls closed in on me, suffocating me. An evil presence made itself evident. I was no longer in my curious pool for things beyond men, I had to turn back now.

You can’t turn back now.

Mine

Art, words & poems
All are mine
Except for you.

-Nameera.

It Came

It came like a soft breeze through the window, pushing past the purple curtain. Caressing my back it traced my flesh in a way that drowned me in melancholy.

It came as a melody so deep. Imbibing in me an incongruous longing for the past.

It came like palpitations as blood dripped from my wrists filling the air around me with dreadful silence.

It came every night,
And crept in my head.
When I tried to fight,
It stuck to my flesh.

The cold breeze,
Felt like your fingers.
When I was at ease,
And life was simpler.

It was a song,
Stuck in my mind.
Each lyric made me long,
For a life past time.

It came through words,
It came in poems.
Between pages of books,
I devoured to escape.

It found me thinking,
About only you.
Nostalgia came,
Through words
Lines
Quotes
Songs
Lyrics
And the cold
Breeze.

It came,
Unabashed
Breaking my
Walls.

-Nameera.

Ruins

He had entered lost territory, a place where no man has dared to venture. The place was in shambles with walls smouldering into blackness where memories bled at night as she closed her eyes. The grey atmosphere filled his lungs with despair and a longing for the warmth of sunshine. Instead of a garden of roses he found himself in a forest of thorns slowly consuming his conscience. Bit by bit he let her overpower him until his breath got icy and the cold in her soul latched itself to his heart.

The ground under his feet crumbled as she devoured him head to toe. As their souls became one, the castle fell into ruins.

The history was lost between pages of a book never written. Their bodies lay beneath ancient bricks with poetry carved deep within their souls, leaving flesh meaningless.

-Nameera.

Little Things

A promotion this week,

At a job you excel.

The success you seek,

Lies on your doorstep.

A dinner at an outlet,

With people you call family.

Tonight you welcome all expenses,

For money is the remedy.

She stares at the roof,

Waiting for daddy to be home.

But the brother calls her a fool,

Telling her to loose hope.

A little drawing is clipped,

With a magnet on the refrigerator.

But daddy remains hooked,

On his morning newspaper.

The little girl in the drawing,

Holds her daddy’s hand.

They both are laughing,

As they take a stroll in wonderland.

With money on his mind,

He leaves for work everyday.

Little things remain undermined,

Killing families day by day.

-Nameera.

Grey

See the light,
They say.
It’s within,
Learn to embrace.

I did,
I failed.
In between,
Is where I rest.

There’s no light,
There’s no dark.
All that there’s in sight,
Is a grey mark.

I’m happy,
Not sane.
I’m lonely,
Not depressed.

I’m me,
In a strangers body.
I can love,
As I die every minute.

Blackness took,
A vital part of me.
While the light,
Blinded my soul.

All I do,
All I think
All I feel,
Is nothing but grey.