New Beginnings

She wasn’t like those Multiloquacious lilies

She didn’t have the constant need to express herself at all times

Sometimes, she enjoyed her own company without shame

On days that were rainy she was often tainted yellow & green

A colorless soul ever-ready to begin anew.

-Nameera.


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A Letter To My Father

I realize I haven’t written much
For papa
I mean my mother always finds a
Mention in a rhyme or two
But when I write for myself fearlessly
Know that I’m my father’s blood
When I burn in secrecy
You will know who I earned
The trait from
When I bottle up emotions and
Stutter every time someone tells
Me I’m wrong simply because
I don’t know how to defend
Myself with a voice,
I am my father’s heartbeat
When my words become my
Savior in the dead of the night
If you see my harsh tones
For an ice cold heart
Know that I’m misunderstood
Like papa
I’ve become a reflection of him
And I believe maa now
When she tells me I’m so much
Like him every time she’s angry
At me
But I still love you
Unconditionally like he does,
I may not express
Or write poetry to impress
Still I know which orbit my
Heart revolves around;
The brightest star called family.

-Nameera


Recently I’m writing a lot about my family & to be honest I feel like I’ve been so blind to the love we all share. The relationship I’ve had with my parents is hard to precisely put into words but I feel peace when I write about us. Poetry goes much deeper in life. You see, it’s not just about the poet’s growth but the adversity with which it affects their personal relationships as well.

Hit & Regret (Haiku)

The bullets fly

Mouths wide open,

Tongues reloaded

-Nameera.


We often utter words that we don’t mean & to be quite frank, thinking before speaking is easier said than done when one is controlled by emotions. We’re deeply flawed & I don’t think any normal human being hasn’t regretted saying something they shouldn’t have. We’ve all tasted regret. However, what matters to me most is how a person comes clean after hurting me. I know we can be hurtful to each other but there’s always enough space for forgiveness & second chances in my heart without letting them take advantage of me.

PRAYER

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Today I forgive myself

For all that I’ve been

I forgive myself for all that I’ve seen

And for the words I didn’t mean

I forgive the six year old me

Trying to fight battles

Humongous for her age

While she stayed up late at night

Praying to an entity

She never quite understood

To take her back because

Everything that went wrong

Was her fault

I forgive my tears for running

Incessantly and carving invisible scars

Across my burning cheeks

I forgive my pain for being so strong

That I would clench my teeth

Till my jaws would break out in rage

I forgive my silenced screams

I forgive my childhood dream of

Being the happiest person alive

Because I could never be

I forgive my past notions and beliefs

I am unlearning everything I once knew

Because my Lord says to me

Pray and I will let it be

Pray and I will let it be

-Nameera.

(more…)

Ramblings

You think you know what anxiety looks like. You believe you’ve seen it all when as a matter of fact you don’t even have the courage to face your reflection. One day the skies will be in your favor but today they lighten someone else’s morning while you’re reduced to the sidelines. The thing about darkness is that it makes itself evident; it grows inside your body whereas light only comes close enough to caress your skin. How do I achieve piece in subtle ways that make no sense at all? I feel lies falling from the pores of my skin as I redefine myself after each perfidious sin. Every time a new rose bloomed my way I’d rebuff its fragrance & find a way to kiss the thorns. I will always love the things you’ve been ashamed of.

-Nameera.


An ode To Jaipur – Pink City.

I never had the chance
To know you inside out
But each visit enhanced
The intrigue with which
My eyes adored you
I always thought my heart
Will yearn for the temporary
Home too close to my soul
But somehow this strange
Tongue lured me toward
Colors that once blinded me
The skies are hued differently
Here & I can say you make
Me forget who I used to be,
You make me bleed in pink
You make me fall for my
Brokenness like the ruins
You birth inside your womb
You remind me time & again,
That I am finally home

Here’s to pink city,
A city that makes you fall
For yourself.

-Nameera.


This poem may not be long like my usual ones are but it’s still deeply close to my heart. Moving to a different country was compelling but I can vouch for a fact that it has its own advantages, specially if you move to a place like Jaipur! So far, I’ve spent a lot of time with my family & explored around a bit and I can say that this feels a lot like home. This transition was a big one in my life & I have a feeling that it was for good. This city makes me love myself again!

Duality

In the mirror on the wall

In the shadows standing tall

In the waters flowing free

In the winds blowing trees,

There’s someone like me

Waiting for a closure

She has sensed an end

But her spirit keeps hoping

For some kind of closure

That never comes to her

As much as I want it to end

I am my biggest fiend

I give away my heart

To hands that distort it

I take shards of glass

And force my skin to bleed

Because in pain there’s joy

And in joy there’s loss

I’ve learnt it all.

-Nameera.