When I grow old I will bury my family tree
In a land so deep that it never out-grows another Dreamer,
That it never stirs another riot inside a heart
Sometimes you understand too much,
The flower of which blooms into expectations-
Tonight I'll celebrate my Dreams
And bathe in the blood rushing through my temples;
I'll mouth the words that make me a sinner
I'll shake these graves with my ribs
There is a poem that spits on my last name
But I'm a spider knitting my own web,
So my spit is just another beginning to a Dream-
Condemned by this godforsaken family.
A big, classic ‘FUCK YOU’ to obligations and traditions just because the people around you are FAMILY.
I’ve never really let the concept of family seep into my head. However, my parents keep nagging me to acknowledge these people. I mean, I don’t mind it BUT when it comes to my comfort level, anxiety issues and social skills, I’m a big disappointment according to them, who is always busy on her phone. I KNOW for a fact that I’ve changed and honestly speaking, I’ve my own days and some times, I’m not in the right set of mind to strike up conversations or participate in them. I don’t even want to be left alone for a whole day but I would appreciate a couple peaceful hours to myself.
Why are half the concepts about families forced on a person for petty reasons like: you share the same blood or for something as silly as, they’re your family?
Why do I’ve to fucking put my anxiety problems aside just for people who barely remember the day I was born? Or have issues with how I colour my hair?
My family is toxic and there’s selective toxicity hurled at me because of various reasons. One of them being, that I dream with the intent of making them my reality. I believe in actions more than words, religion or holy anecdotes. I believe in life and what I make of it, more than what came before me.
My family is only my parents and I really wish they’d respect my choices too. Or at least give me the required time to be myself rather than having me fake shit instead of enjoying the moment like they want me to but, here’s the catch: you can’t expect your children to enjoy the moment according to your rules, let them breathe first.
-Nameera Anjum Khan